Why, yes! That was me!

 There was a time in my life that I felt the need to be a people pleaser, to not rock the boat, and I always seemed to keep to calmer waters. It took me many years to realize the emotional damage I was doing to myself by trying to be what I wasn't, to act a certain way when it was not the way I felt, and most certainly not the way I wanted to act. The older I've gotten, the more I have let go of that controlled, meek person and have embraced my true self. Doing so has helped my mental and physical health more than you can possibly imagine.

I drink. I cuss. I have a dirty mind and, damn it, I've finally started using it the way I want to. Writing erotic romance has not only given me an outlet for my true self, but it has also helped open my eyes to the person I want to be. I want to say what I think without censorship, do what I please without judgment. I finally feel like I'm doing that. And for those that do judge me? Fuck you. I don't care. Now, don't get me wrong. I do still try to be professional when I'm working. Try.

So let me tell you a little story. I have so many friends. Life-long friends (for real, some I've known since toddler age), work friends, friends of my parents and my brother, friends I met in elementary, middle, high school, and college. And there are friends I have made through my children's various activities - Girl Scouts, Dance, Band. I'm a very friendly person and I make friends easily. But I have a core group of friends that I go out with regularly. We go to bars, we go out to eat, or to the movies. Recently we took an amazing trip to the Outerbanks of North Carolina and it was the perfect girls' trip! 

Last weekend the four of us wanted to go out and we chose to go to a local restaurant and sit at the bar. There were drinks, appetizers, and so many laughs! It was a wonderful few hours that involved tequila and rum, four women with dirty thoughts, don't give a fuck attitudes, and laughter that was evidently contagious enough to have a good portion of the bar laughing along with us. We even had a couple of guys on the other side of the bar buying shots for us in a desperate attempt to see if they could get lucky. (Not happening, but we appreciated the sentiment, boys!)

Now, I know what you're thinking. What's the big deal about this story? Well, here is the kicker.  Little did I know, because of alcohol, not paying attention, or whatever, one of my co-workers and her husband were seated behind us. We work together but at separate offices and due to COVID 19 it has been a while since we've seen each other. I've also changed my hair and dropped a little weight. She thought it was me, but had never seen me behaving as I was and it made her doubt herself, so she didn't approach me. 

Today I visited the office where she works and was barely in the door before she announced that I was not allowed to leave until she'd spoken privately with me. Now, my first thought was, shit, fuck, what the hell have I done now? As I walked into her lab, hoping that nobody was around for whatever ass-kicking was coming my way, I went over every possible interaction she and I'd had over the past few weeks, months even, and I was completely at a loss.

Finally, she turned to me and said, "Tell me something. Were you out with friends last Saturday night?" Why, yes. Yes, I was. She then proceeded to tell me how much fun she and her husband had had while watching our interactions, the carefree way we were with each other, the love, and companionship that we showed. She told me how much they had laughed when the guys bought us our shots and the reactions the guys had shown as we'd knocked back those low-ball glasses of Fireball at the prospect, however unlikely, of spending time with us.

Evidently, my friends and I, embracing our true selves and laying our craziness out there for everyone to see, had given them a night they will never forget.

So why I am telling you this? I'm telling you this to lay out to you one of the most simple, easiest things you can do that will help your mental and physical health. Something that may even help others without your knowledge.

Embrace and be true to yourself. You will be happier and so will those around you.

Much love from me to you!

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)