Don't Let Me Get Me

Good morning, my Lovelies! I hope your day is bright and beautiful, that you woke up in a fabulous mood, and that you consumed enough caffeine to keep you revved throughout your day. This morning I come to you with a big decision to make and I think the best way to do it is to talk it out and see where it leads me. 

If you've been with me for a while now you know just how unhappy I have been with my job and the fact that I've been relocated to a different office, causing a lengthy commute. Today I have two interviews lined up. Exciting, right? Well, yes, and no. Yes, I'm excited to hopefully get some small amount of sanity back in my life. No, because to do so, I have to get through the interview process, which at my age, you would think I would be long past. I despise interviewing. I'm told I interview well, but I always (ALWAYS) leave interviews beating myself up for saying something I felt I shouldn't have, or for not saying something that only occurred to me after I left the interview.

But setting all that aside, here is my real dilemma. One job I can do in my sleep. It is a part-time position, which means I lose my benefits (not a huge deal as I have other means available), I'll be 10 minutes from my house (yay), closer to my children and their schools (yay), and all of our normal (pre-COVID) haunts and responsibilities. And the big kicker for me? I would have one day off a week to devote to writing (or whatever comes up)! Nice, right?

Then there's the other job. This job would be full-time, I would keep my benefits, and it would get me back in the legal field (being away from healthcare is a huge positive for this one)! This is what I'm trained for and once upon a time, very interested in pursuing. Great, right? I would be working closer to home than I am now, but would still have a half-hour to 40-minute drive depending on the slow-asses puttering along on the back roads. Also? I would be losing that day a week devoted to writing. 

So...I'm not sure what to do. I feel fairly certain I'll be offered the first job, but from what I've been told, I'm one of the top candidates for the second job. I would love to get back in the legal world, but at this point, I feel like I need to look at the self-care side of things. 

I'm at my best when I'm writing. Well, maybe not to those around me, as they drive me up the fucking wall interrupting me while I'm fleshing (ha!) out my stories, or when I reach the climax (ha!) in my books. But I'm definitely in a better frame of mind, and I feel like I'm seeing to my own needs and desires, which is something that I neglected for too damn many years to count. 

I've said many times that I want my writing to continue to grow. It takes time to become successful as an author and I am trying my hardest to be patient. But in order to continue working toward that success, I have to actually find the time to dedicate to it. 

So, if I'm offered the legal position and I take it, am I holding myself back? If I'm offered the other position and I take it, am I fucking up a major opportunity? Either choice feels like a win/no-win situation at the exact same time.

It's funny how I thought talking this out would help me make a decision. Umm...if any of you see a clear-cut choice that I made there, can you fill me in? I really would love to know your thoughts!


As always,


Much love from me to you!

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)

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Erotic Romance author. Self-published on Amazon. I love a happy ending. Yes, I mean that in more than one way.

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