Mz. Hyde
Good morning, my Lovelies! How ya doing? Life good? Are you staying hydrated? Getting enough exercise? I hope so because I only want the best for you! (I should probably ask myself these questions, right?)
Have you ever had something that you wanted or needed, or something that you were doing, and were hesitant to vocalize and share with those around you? If you've been with me on this journey for a while now, you'll know where I'm going with this. (Also, if you're new here, I encourage you to go back to the beginning of my blog so that you not only know more about me but can see how I've progressed over the past year. Year? Holy shit!)
Recently some of my co-workers found out about my side hustle. I can absolutely guarantee you that none of the people I work with would have ever guessed that I write lady porn in my free time. You see, the thoughts in my head are rarely spoken out loud unless you are a close friend, and to look at me you would likely only see a 47-year-old mother who is perpetually tired - certainly not the expected appearance of an erotic romance author. I just don't let my guard down without knowing whether I can trust you, without knowing I can be myself without judgment.
I suppose when I'm at work I'm one way, and when I'm in writing mode, I'm another. I've always tried to be professional in the work setting, or at least I had up until recently. I think working in a warehouse closed off from the world instead of a traditional office setting has helped me let my guard down a bit. Oh, I'm still professional when I need to be, but I've definitely relaxed some and been more myself over the past ten months.
I don't hold much back anymore unless there's a boss-type person or someone I'm unfamiliar with lurking outside our make-shift office. Even then, sometimes, my mouth gets away from me. (Can you call it an office when it is nothing more than a few tables in a conference room?) Eh, you get the idea.
Anyway, I'm not certain why I had held that part of me back. Maybe it was fear of being laughed at? Maybe it was fear of judgment? Maybe it was a multitude of other things? Who knows! I mean, I suppose I didn't want the people I'm with every day to think less of me for the things I enjoy doing. Little did I know that sharing that part of myself with them has made them relax around me more, as well.
You know what else? They've been 100% supportive and encouraging of my writing, to the point of questioning why I don't just quit and pursue it full-time. And I've been told repeatedly that they are all pulling for me to make it in the book world. I never dreamed that I would find that with this group and the fact that I have has really touched me.
It appears that I'm going to be stuck in this job a while longer, so I'm very glad that I can relax, be myself, and share that part of me that had been hidden away for so many years. Hopefully, it will make the drudgery of this job a little easier to endure.
Before I go, let me share that I'll be announcing some awesome news soon! Stay tuned!
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