Fake It

Good afternoon, my Lovelies! Thursday has arrived and I’m here to share some of my craziness with you. I hope the crazy in your part of the world has been at an acceptable level and that you’ve found a reason to smile this week!

I told you all from the very beginning of this blog that I was going to be 100% authentic with you and not hide anything. I’ve had moments of complete chaos that I’ve shared, and I’ve shared my worst episodes of depression. I’ve shared my happy thoughts, my frustrated thoughts. I’ve told you about things I love, hate, need, and want. I’ve told you stories of times with friends and family and shared pieces of my soul.

I’ve laughed and I’ve cried, and I’ve been more at peace with who I am as a person, more at peace with my life.

Each week I give you a little part of myself and I have had so many people reach out to me and tell me how much they enjoy the fact that I’m honest about what’s going on in my life, in my head, and in my heart. It isn’t always easy, but I usually feel better after I’ve gotten things written down. And those people who have reached out to me have said that it has helped them to know that someone else has had the same thoughts and feelings that they themselves have experienced.

With that being said, let me just share with you that my brain has absolutely not been working at its highest level this week. The lights are on, but nobody is home. I don’t know why, but I haven’t been able to get my thoughts together on anything, and it hasn’t mattered whether it was work, home, or book related. I swear I feel like I’ve been the ball in a table tennis match, bouncing from one thing to another and not managing to get a damn thing done. I really think I have undiagnosed ADHD.

Here's the thing, and this scares me just a little bit – nobody has noticed. Not a single one of you! I literally have not been able to function this week and not one person has pointed out that I’m not making sense, that I’m not finishing my thoughts, that I’m walking around dazed, and bouncing off walls.

What the hell is the matter with you people? I swear I’m not that good of an actress! Shew! This week gives a whole new meaning to fake it until you make it… Thank goodness this week is almost over and with any luck, next week I’ll be a competently functioning adult again.

If you see me before then and you notice that I’m saying “Huh?” often or that I’m staring at you, blinking rapidly as I’m trying to make sense of what you say, just know that I’m trying my hardest to come back online.

Until next time, and as always,

Much love and affection, from me to you!

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)

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