Hakuna Matata

Good afternoon, my Lovelies!

How’s life? I hope you’ve had a wonderful week and are revving up for the upcoming weekend. Me? Well, I’ve been better – I’ve been worse. But it is what it is, and life goes on.

What am I talking about? Oh, well that would be the all-out and absolute betrayal that my body has thrown at me over the past couple of years.

Uhhh, what are ya talkin’ about, Shell?

Oh, you mean you really want to know?

Have you ever heard of a colposcopy? No, not a colonoscopy, a colposcopy. Well, basically it is a biopsy of your cervix. And what happens is that the doctor (in his office and under no anesthesia) cuts out a sampling of your cervix and sends it off to be tested for cancer.

Fun stuff.

Over the past couple of years I’ve had this done multiple times due to findings during my yearly checkups. Last year I was even lucky enough to have a LEEP procedure. What’s that? Oh, that’s when they go in there and cut out a larger portion of your cervix and then cauterize (burn) the areas where they’ve cut. (At least that one was done at the hospital under anesthesia.)

That particular procedure was supposed to have taken care of the problem. Well, the joke's on me, because my body basically said, “fuck you!” So, yes, I got to have another colposcopy done yesterday. 

Again, fun stuff. (I can’t possibly have much cervix left after all this…)

When I tell you that I’ve been an emotional wreck, please believe me. You know, we try not to think of the worst when shit like this happens, but family history has me constantly going down the path to the worst possible outcome.

If you’ve never had to go through this or something like this, then I hope you never will. If you have, please know that I completely understand how scary and painful this is. And I also understand the total mind-fuck that you’ve been given.

I’m okay. I’m trying to stay positive and keep my Hakuna Matata vibes, but it isn’t easy. So, if you see me and I’m not my usual happy-go-lucky self, just remember that there’s quite a bit going on in my head and heart right now.

Oh, and do NOT tell me how sorry you are for what I’m going through. I know you are and all you’re going to do is make me cry. So, just tell me a joke, give me a hug, or pull out the tequila.

I’ll get through this.

Until next time, and as always,

Much love and affection, from me to you!

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)
Dawn Love's Linktree