Love Me Anyway

Good afternoon, my Lovelies! Forgive me. It has now been two weeks since my last blog. Why does saying that always make me feel like I’m at a confessional? I mean, I’m not even Catholic! Crazy! Anyway, I hope you are well, and that life has been kind to you since I last checked in.

What’s been going on with me? Oh, you know, the usual. I’ve been working, writing, and trying to push my shit out on social media. And in the midst of all of this, I’m trying to get this kid of mine all set up for college. I’m happy and sad at the same time and it is absolutely exhausting.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking lately about myself and the people in my life. I will be the first to tell you that I can be a handful most of the time and it often makes me wonder how the people in my life put up with me.

I should probably have a neon sign flashing over my head at all times that says “chaos” so that people are warned before approaching me of just what to expect. To be fair, I don’t intentionally try to be chaotic, it just seems to be part of my nature and personality.

Other people can sit down and make a well-thought-out, step-by-step plan and painstakingly follow it right down the line. I, on the other hand, seem to jump ahead, to go on side-tangents, and somehow plop myself down at the end of a project long before I should be at the finish line.

I’m not very good at taking things slow and thinking them through. To be fair, if I was, I probably would not be where I’m at today.

There’s good in that and there’s bad, and I often find myself having to go back and do steps that I’ve skipped because the end result isn’t quite as it should be. But other than the frustration of having the do-overs that inevitably arise from the ricocheting of my thought processes, I think the thing that bothers me the most is thinking about how the people that are around me are forced to put up with it.

I’ll be the first to tell you that I have done things that have caused more harm than good because of this. It is unintentional and to anyone who has put up with me anyway, bless you, and I love you.

I’m not always the easiest person to be around. I’m not always the easiest person to love and am certainly not the easiest person to live with. But I will promise you this, no matter how much I screw things up, I’ll keep trying.

Just don’t give up on me!

Until next time, and as always,

Much love and affection, from me to you!

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)

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