Control
Good morning, my Lovelies! Happy Friday! Let me start by saying that I actually worked on a blog to post last week, but I just couldn’t get it to flow the way that I wanted. Part of me wanted to just post it, but I really don’t want to post just to be posting. Do you know what I mean? If I can’t give you some insight, some entertainment, some information, or something to think about, what’s the point? That’s kind of where my mind was after I finished typing out the total pile of crap that I managed to piece together. So, unfortunately, I skipped a week. Again.
Anyway…How y’all doin’? Life treating you with kindness? I hope so!
Today I’m going to talk about something that I feel like I’ve only barely touched on in the past. I can hear the excitement as you all say, “Ooooh! What’s that, Shell?” Well, that is going to be the subject of control.
Whatcha mean, Shell?
Oh, boy! Here we go. Most of the time I feel like I’m the one who has to make the decisions around my house. Where we go, when we go, what we do, what we eat…the list goes on and on. Normally, I don’t have much problem with that (well, except maybe the nightly ‘what the hell are we eating for dinner’ discussion). I don’t mind being the one in control of things – and yes, being the decision-maker means that you’re pretty much the one in control.
Now there’s quite a bit that goes into that, especially if you’ve been with your significant other(s) for any length of time. You take their likes, dislikes, wants, and needs into consideration, but ultimately, if you’re making the final decisions, you’re the one in control.
In the world of BDSM there are Doms and Subs, and then there’s all kinds of sub-categories. So, without giving you too much detail about my sex life (not that we’re really into BDSM, but it’s great examples of control) I will tell you that there are times that I just want those decisions made for me. I want to relinquish control. Whether that’s to participate in the act itself, or what is done during the act.
In fact, that’s mostly the way I am. Don’t ask me – just go for it. If I really don’t want to, or if something just isn’t working for me, I will let you know and there will be no doubt about the fact that it’s time to move on.
There’s just something (for me) about having a man take charge that is not only a huge turn-on, but it is such a relief, a weight off my shoulders. Let me say this a little louder for the ones in the back.
Not having to be the one making all the decisions is fucking liberating! (At least for me.) And when we are more comfortable, more at ease and relaxed, it can make for some very explosive and intense moments.
From a woman’s perspective, getting me out of my head and in the moment is not only necessary but when it happens, it is phenomenal for everyone involved.
Now, does that mean that I don’t like to take control of things every now and then? No. Absolutely not. In fact, there are times that I need to be the one setting the pace and making the decisions.
I suppose that makes me a switch to some extent. (Switch should be pretty much self-explanatory, but if not, look it up.)
Anyway, maybe that’s too much information for you, maybe not, but there it is. One final thing before I close this out: If you don’t know how your partner(s) feel about this, strike up a conversation about it.
Trust me.
Until next time, and as always,
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