More Like Her

Good afternoon, my Lovelies!

How the hell are ya? Me? I'm walking on clouds! I've just recently come back from my trip to Knoxville where I attended my first-ever author signing event and it was all I could have hoped for and more! Rockin' Romance Readers was simply AMAZING!

I had so much fun meeting and interacting with everyone and it made me look forward to all the upcoming events that I have even more than I already was.

So, I'm sure you're on pins and needles waiting for me to get to the point of my blog. 

"More Like Her"

I've never considered myself beautiful. I've never considered myself pretty. I've certainly never considered myself sexy. Maybe I don't have a very good view of myself and all I bring to the table. I don't know.

I've always been overweight which has been a major obstacle for me in many areas of my life, especially when it comes to my appearance. Maybe I wouldn't have found myself obsessing over it most of my life if I hadn't been told as a teenager that, I "wouldn't be that bad looking if I lost some weight." Now, before y'all lose your shit and go off on the teenage boy who said this to me, he was a TYPICAL teenage boy.

It hurt and it has stuck with me even all these years later. But, yes, it completely fucked with my head.

Recently I've had some conversations and some interactions that have made me question why. Why would anyone find me even remotely attractive? 

I just spent a weekend hanging around some gorgeous, sexy, and extremely buff men. Men who have done these amazing photoshoots with beautiful and sexy models. (Really...y'all should see some of the images from the couples shoots! Whew!) The women they're posing with? I could never, NEVER compete with them. In fact, I would never even be in the running.

I will never be model material. I will never be beauty queen material. I will never win some title or look sexy in a swimsuit. I will NEVER look "right" in one of these men's arms.

(Yes, I know I'm married - we're talking hypothetically here, people...just roll with it.)

My body has been through a lot. The crash diets, the binge eating, and two pregnancies where my body was sliced open and sewn and stapled (56 of those bitches) back together - it all did a number on me physically and mentally. There's scar tissue and sagging breasts. Muscle tone? Yeah, right.

Knowing that I'm not and will never be on any kind of equal footing with these guys made me wish that I was different. Going into this weekend I was freaked out at the thought of having to take photos with them and the readers.

But these men, God they're amazing. They never once made me feel as if I didn't belong or that I was less and I can't thank them enough for the confidence boost they gave me and for welcoming me with open arms.

I love them and their beautiful hearts. They truly made this trip a blessing for me!

So, now that I'm crying uncontrollably, I need to wrap this up. Let me leave you with the thought that no matter how scared or anxious you are, take the fucking leap. 

You never know where you will land and it may be exactly where you were meant to be all along.

Until next time and as always,


Much love and beautiful memories from me to you,

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)

Dawn Love's Linktree



Erotic Romance author. Self-published on Amazon. I love a happy ending. Yes, I mean that in more than one way.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Image
Good morning, my Lovelies! It is time once again for me to get a few thoughts out of my head (maybe more than a few) and I just know that each and every one of you is itching to hear what has been floating around up there. Well, maybe not, but y'all love me and will humor me anyway. I don't know if this blog will touch you in any way, will make you feel anything, but I know it will me. As most of you know, my father passed away a couple of weeks ago. Neither of my parents has been in particularly good health for quite some time now. And while nobody is ever prepared to lose a loved one, not really, I feel like I had thought about the inevitability enough that I'm handling it better than I thought I would. Oh, I still have my moments. Believe me when I say I miss my father, but he was in pain and had been in pain for a long time. Maybe it just eases my mind that he is no longer suffering? Maybe it eases my mind that I never had to put him in a nursing facility, which is one ...
Read more

Taste Of You

Image
Good morning, my Lovelies! I hope this blog finds you doing well and that things are groovy in your part of the world. How's things in my world? My epic game of Frogger continues. I guess my getting food poisoning over the weekend was the equivalent of my froggy self getting splatted on the speed lanes. Good times. I actually started writing this blog a couple of nights ago and about halfway through it dawned on me that everything I was saying sounded horribly familiar. I had to go back and check myself. It turns out that I had already talked about that particular topic so I kind of started over again. I mean, I assume you guys don't need more details on the night my ex-husband stabbed me. We'll move along. Instead, let's talk about... Desire. Has there ever been someone that you craved beyond all logical reason? You just can't get enough of them. You think about them all day, dream about them at night, and they're the first thought on your mind when you wake in...
Read more

Crazy

Image
Good evening, my Lovelies! Gracious! I hardly know where to begin. This is my first blog of the new year and I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to acknowledge everyone who started reading and following my blog over the past year. I've gained some amazing followers and new friends and I'm thankful to each and every one of you. The past year brought many changes and challenges. It also brought some heartbreak, but at the same time, it brought many heart smiles. I had many blessings and I'm grateful for them all. So what is it that I want to talk to you about tonight? I think I've touched on this before, but if you don't already know, I'm a very insecure person. I've had friends, family, and people that I love, to just walk away without looking back. I've always wondered what I did that made them leave or what I didn't do to make them want to stay. I've tried repeatedly to tell myself that their leaving falls on them and not me, but I...
Read more