Just A Friend

Good afternoon, my Lovelies!

It's Friday and I'm so fucking ready for the weekend that I could cry. Actually, I'm ready for this time next week to be here already. Why is that? If you've been following me for a while you know that it is about that time of year. Yep! It's time for that annual girls' trip and I'm ready to hit the road!

So... How ya doin'? Good? Awesome! Drink your water. Be sure to smile. And, for the hell of it, go do something completely unexpected. Surprise yourself and see how much fun you have!

What are we going to talk about today? Oh, boy. Here we go.

I am and have always been the person people confide in. I not only don't mind it, I thrive in that role. When people need a shoulder to cry on, I'm there. When they need to rant, rave, scream, and cry? They call me up to be their sounding board. When they're happy and need to share the joy in their hearts? I'm the one that gets the messages. And when they have some secret, especially the sexy, naughty ones...ummmm...hello??? Of course, they come find me.

I've always been the first to tell my friends that I'm there for them and that if they want me to listen, I'll listen. If they want my advice, I'll offer it. If they want to know about my similar experiences, I'll share them.

This is a huge component of my closest friendships. And for the most part, my friends are there for me in the exact same way.

So, what's the problem? Right?

Recently, say within the past three to four years, I've found a friend who I absolutely adore. I've never met anyone quite like this person before. I feel that during the time we've known each other, we've become pretty close. I have offered to be that ear, that shoulder, that sounding board for this person but they NEVER take me up on it. That just isn't what they want from our friendship.

I'm fine with that. Truly. It's just odd for me and I'm having trouble navigating the role they want me to play in their life. I don't know how to just be and not offer that part of myself to them. Does that make sense? I continually find myself offering to listen and that isn't what they want or need from me.

I've asked why and I absolutely understand their reasoning, but I've never been around anyone that just wanted to hang with me just to hang with me and not have those in-depth discussions. I don't know how to just...be. Does that make sense?

I suppose you want to know their reasoning, right? Their thought is that if you "use" your friendships that way, somewhere along the line it ruins the friendship. They've also pointed out many times that this is exactly what they have a therapist for. I get it. I do. And yes, I can see how taking friendships to that level could and has caused problems in relationships.

I'm trying my hardest to respect their wants and needs, but I'm not sure I know how to be a friend without being the therapist friend, the sounding board, or the confidant. Have any of you run across this before? I could certainly use some advice because I seriously don't want to blow this. My friend is simply amazing and they make my life better just by being in it.

Help ya girl out here! Share with me, oh wise ones, for I am floundering!

Until next time and as always,

Much love and friendship from me to you,

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)

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