Love is Hell

Good afternoon, my Lovelies!

I'm just going to skip all the how ya doin's and get right to this.

I've been trying to work today. I need to be writing. I need to be editing. I need to be scheduling some content so that all my shit keeps getting pushed out there. (BTW, if you see ANYTHING I post, please like and/or comment to help push me with the algorithm.) But I can't seem to concentrate until I get this out of my head.

I'm fairly certain that when everyone reads this they're either not going to believe me or think I'm over-exaggerating, but I've never lied to you and I won't start now.

If your partner calls you a sweet nickname, you better eat that up.

If your partner does little things for you without being asked, thank them and return the favor.

If your partner treats you like a king/queen (in whatever way that applies to you), then you need to reciprocate.

If your partner plans a night out - go. Enjoy. Be thankful and be the one who plans the next night out.

If your partner shows you love (in whatever way is your love language) show them love back.

This all seems like common sense and common courtesy for people in relationships, right? Well, evidently some people need it spelled out.

Look, I've been married twice. I've dated (and dated and dated). I've had some one-night fun. I've never really had any of those things.

I've never really had the sweetness, the thoughtfulness. Does that mean they don't/didn't love me? No. Just that I'm not or wasn't a priority in their mind. I'm there, I'm just way down the list.

Did it start out that way? No. But each and every person I've ever been involved with has changed once they knew I was theirs. They stopped trying.

A friend recently pointed out to me that I need to expect more out of my relationships. To prove her point, she used the example of just how ridiculously happy it made me recently when someone showed me the bare minimum. She's right. My bar for expectations has been set too low for too long.

Raise the bar? Right? Oh, I've tried that. It gets me nowhere. I've learned to live with it.

So, what are things that would make me feel that the bar is being raised?

Send me music. It costs nothing other than a few seconds of your time to send me a song that you think I will like or that made you think of me. Major bonus points if you're singing it or playing it on an instrument yourself.

Plan a movie night. We don't even have to go to a movie - a night on the couch works for me.

What about a nickname? Yes. Absolutely. If it's something specific to me then it's a term of endearment and I would love it.

You don't have to spend money on me, but if you do want to buy me something? Fine. It doesn't have to be expensive. I'm not one of those women. I'd be happy with you bringing me a fucking Cherry Limeaid from Sonic. (Not that I would turn down a gift certificate for a new tattoo...)

Communicate. You want to send me a text? Please! By all means, do it! But don't make it about dishes, laundry, or something you need from the store. (I mean, yeah, sometimes those are necessary... but...) No. Tell me you're thinking about me. Tell me you can't wait to spend time alone with me. Tell me you miss me. Hell, take it a step further if you want, because dirty texts can lead the way to fun times later on.

Am I delusional? I really don't think any of that is too much to ask for.

I'm sorry this isn't my usual kind of blog but if I don't get these thoughts out of my head I'll never get anything done. (And I know how anxious y'all are for a new book!)

Thank you for hanging in there with me today. I appreciate it! That is all for now.

Until next time and as always,

Much love and wishful thinking from me to you,

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)

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