All Cried Out

Good afternoon, my Lovelies!

I hope this blog finds you well and that you are living your best life. I also hope it finds you loved, and appreciated, and that the people in your life showered you with gifts yesterday to show you just how much you are loved and appreciated.

Well, it happened. The depression has hit just as I knew it would, just as I told you in my last blog. Valentines Day was forgotten for me by the ones who say they love me, the ones I've given my heart to. I know I shouldn't let it get to me this way, but it does.

And it sucks. It sucks to not feel the love that I'm told is there.

I'm tired of crying. I've cried buckets for the better part of two weeks (not all prompted by the subject of this blog). Every time I think I have no tears left, more come pouring out of me.

I'm tired of not feeling important.

It would be lovely if words were backed up by actions. It would be lovely if when someone tells me they love me, they actually meant it instead of just appeasing me with their words. It would be lovely to be thought about, to be remembered - even just occasionally.

If you truly love someone, don't you try to make them feel it and not just give lip service?

I shouldn't have to give nudges, little reminders that I'm here. But time and again it has been proven I am not nor will I ever be a priority. I'm never going to be first in the minds of the people I love. I don't get thought of - out of sight, out of mind. I'm not worth the time and there will be no effort given.

Maybe I'm loving the wrong people. Maybe you guys think I'm being a whiney bitch. Maybe I am. But I'm tired of hoping for the best, for great things, only to be disappointed. I'm tired of believing in people when they've proven over and over that they aren't going to care for me the way I care for them, the way I deserve.

I'm tired of giving the benefit of the doubt when I know damn good and well that what I hope and wish for will never happen.

I'm tired of having my heart repeatedly shattered.

Go ahead. Tell me I'm overreacting. Tell me I just don't understand. Tell me people are busy.

I've heard it all before.

Let's be completely honest here: You make time for what's important to you.

That's not me.

On that note, I'm going to shut this one down. Either my mental health needs a giant boost, or I need to just drink myself into oblivion. Maybe drinking really is the way to go. I wonder how much alcohol it would take to make it all go away? Death by alcohol. It happens.

I promise I'm going to try to make my next blog upbeat and happy. I'm just not in a good head space right now.


Until next time and as always,


Much love from me to you,

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)


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Erotic Romance author. Self-published on Amazon. I love a happy ending. Yes, I mean that in more than one way.

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