Timebomb

Good morning, my Lovelies!

Happy New Year and welcome to my first blog of 2026! I hope the new year has started off well for you and that the year ahead is nothing but fabulous!

By the time you finish reading this, you are either going to be cheering for me or thinking 'what the fuck...' Either way, please know that I've put quite a bit of thought into this, and my new-ish outlook is not some randomness that popped into my head.

I have made a decision, and it is one that I really wish more women would make. Throughout my life, I have been severely mistreated by the men I've had relationships with. I've had enough of the narcissistic abusers and users. I've had enough of their 'get what I want and walk away' attitudes.

Let me share a story.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who met a man. They started out as friends, but it was obvious there was something more. Over time, that something more really began to make itself apparent. He told her from the beginning he wasn't a safe bet, and she fought her heart for years. But the longer they knew each other, the more they talked, the more time they spent with each other, the inevitable happened, and she fell for him. She fell, and she fell hard.

She began doing things for him. She gave him gifts. She bought him things he randomly mentioned he might like. She gave him money when he was struggling. When she was shopping and she saw something she thought he might like, she got it. She spent thousands and thousands of dollars on him, and he was always appreciative and a bit in awe that she wanted to show her love for him in that way. 

For a while, he gave that love back to her. They had the same goals. They had the same dreams. They had the same likes and desires. There was even talk of the future and what they might have together.

But, as always happens, he began to pull away. The more distance there was, the worse the communication between them. The worse the communication, the more hurt and hard feelings began to arise. He was careless with her feelings. He was careless with her heart.

What was once a true soul connection died in a matter of months, and it soon became VERY clear she'd been used. Repeatedly and with glee, hidden behind a facade of caring.

She didn't care about the money, the gifts. She had a big heart and knew she'd helped someone she loved in their time of need. She had shown him her love in every way she was able.

The only thing she cared about was the heart he'd ripped from her body and continually stomped on, shattering it beyond repair. His carelessness changed her, and even if she were ever able to put her heart back together, there would be no way she could ever hand it to another man.

She was broken, and she would remain broken.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering about this new attitude I've decided to adopt. This story changed me. My entire mindset on relationships has shifted, changed into something I never thought I would understand, much less embrace.

I can count on one hand the men who have treated me properly throughout my life, and two of those men are now dead. The rest have used me, abused me, and left me.

Ladies, I implore you, do unto others as they do unto you. Take what you want and walk away. Fuck them and leave them. Get the pleasures you want and need and leave your heart out of it. One and dones? Go for it. Friends with benefits? Go for it.

But guard your hearts. The only person who will ever love you the way you deserve to be loved is yourself.

Now, maybe you're thinking holy shit! She's a romance author! How can she say these things?

When a bomb has been detonated in your heart, it changes you. That being said, I still believe in love. I still believe it can find us. But I no longer feel it is something we need to be looking for and trying to find.

If love is meant to be, it will be. Until then, we should not feel bad about adopting a man's mentality regarding relationships. Get what you want and then onto the next.

Take back your power, ladies!

So, which camp are you in? Are you cheering or asking what the fuck? I'm truly interested to know.

Until next time and always...

Have courage. Be kind. Be happy!

Much self-love and sexual fulfillment from me to you,

Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)

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