Revenge
Good Friday evening, my Lovelies!
I hope this blog finds you well and that your little corner of the world is a safe and happy place at the moment. I'm good. In fact, I'm better than I've been in a long while.
That being said, you know if I'm writing a blog then I have things on my mind I need to get out. I really was trying to do some writing on the book I'm working on, but sometimes things just dig into my brain and won't let go. This is the only way I can set shit aside sometimes so that I can carry on.
I'm having trouble with this one, which is definitely an indicator of how difficult it is for me to think along these lines. I've actually started this blog over four different times, and this is only the third paragraph.
Okay... here we go.
I'm a good person. I'm a very good person with a big and forgiving heart. And I don't believe people give me nearly enough credit for how good a person I truly am.
The things I know. The things I've witnessed firsthand. The things that have been said to me, done to me... I literally could destroy so many people with how horribly I've been treated.
But I'm a good person. I'm a good person who doesn't like seeing people hurt, even when their words and actions have done just that to me.
Let me share this with you...
There once was a man I was super close with. I would go so far as to say he was one of my best friends for a long while. He told me he loved me. He told me he would always be there for me. He told me he didn't want to ever lose me. We talked most every day about any and everything. I tried my hardest not to fall for him because I knew it would only end in heartbreak. But it happened anyway. I did things for him, bought him gifts, helped him out when his finances were a mess, and tried my hardest to always be there for him and available when he needed me. And yes, we were intimate. Often.
When I started noticing him pulling away, I was dumbfounded. He continued to maintain that we were friends, good friends, and that he loved me. But if you truly love someone, you don't lie to them, and he did.
Repeatedly.
I could go into so much more detail about his lies, how I found out he was lying, and the way he treated me, but I'm a good person.
At the same time, I'm also not gullible or stupid. I've protected myself, and one of these days, everything might be out in the open.
How?
You do know I'm a writer, right? Things are documented. In fact, things are documented, and that documentation is stored in multiple places.
What do I plan to do with it? Nothing. But I have it and should the need arise, well... Let's just say I'm covered.
Hell, maybe I'll instruct my bestie to release the information upon my death in a tell-all book. I mean, at that point, I have nothing to lose, and I can take satisfaction in knowing those who wronged me, who thought they could treat me like shit and then walk, will be getting what they deserve.
I don't have the heart or mindset for revenge, but I can and will protect myself and will pull out those receipts if I have to.
Y'all... I don't know exactly where I was going with this blog, and reading back through it, I can see how much of a mess it is. I just know I needed to get some thoughts out of my head.
Thank you all for hanging with me when I'm not in a good frame of mind. I much prefer my "happy-go-lucky, live life to the fullest, love with all your heart" self. But there are times that I have to push all the bad out so I can make sure there's room for all the good, the love, I have inside me.
Until next time and as always,
Much love and covering your ass from me to you,
Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)
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