Music Tells My Stories

Good morning, my Lovelies, and Happy Thursday! Gracious! I hardly know where to begin. Loki has entered the atmosphere. Chaos has been ruling my world for the past couple of days. Actually, let's make it the past couple of weeks. So I guess let's start with, how are you? I hope you're well and that your life has been much less of a shit show than mine has been.  What's been going on? Let me break it down. My work (my full-time, grown-up, put your big girl panties on and deal with it job) has had me running all over the state lately. I hardly know which direction I'm going most of the time. As of today, there is no end in sight and I have no expectation of things calming down any time soon. I'm working from home today and I've now had to go into town twice and it isn't even eleven a.m. (Please note "working from home" normally means that I don't have to leave the house until my job is done for the day.) I've had trouble logging into my w...

Good morning, my Lovelies! I've been absent and I'm so sorry. I've been preparing for this book release at the end of the month and I've just had a load of shit going on. I hope you are well and that you have had wonderful things happening in your corner of the world. I'm going to be so damn honest with you right now - I haven't been myself lately. Not at all! I've been emotionally and physically needy and that is absolutely not me. I like to think I shoulder my shit well and that for the most part, I'm a very independent person. But I swear I feel like I've been a whiny, pain in the ass over the past couple of weeks. I've shared with you before that I have some pretty serious depressive episodes at times, and yes, I have other things that fuck with me. (I exhibit all the symptoms of ADHD though I've never been diagnosed. I'm obsessive-compulsive, and to top it all off I have gradually worsening misophonia.) But what I've been feeling...

Good morning, my Lovelies and happy freaking Friday! I'm away at my writing retreat and have just sat down at the computer with my first cup of coffee for the day. It's definitely time to get my creative juices flowing. You see, when I got here yesterday I couldn't seem to settle. My brain simply wouldn't cooperate. So I spent time doing some editing instead of actually writing and even watched a movie for a change. Hopefully, I'm back on track and ready to get with the program this morning.  My question to you today is this: Am I the only one who has unrealistic but highly romantic and overtly sexual scenarios to play out in their head? Is that something that comes more naturally to me as I'm a creative person? Here's an example: I'm in a crowded room at some gathering or another and my anxiety is at peak levels. I'm standing next to a bar, a fruity concoction in my hand and my eyes constantly dart around the room, searching for something to focus o...

Good morning, my Lovelies! It's Sunday and I'm in a mood. Hopefully, you are well and so is your mental health. Mood? Yes. A mood. Multiple moods. I'm all over the place this morning. I haven't felt well for a couple of days (negative COVID test, so not part of my issues). I'm frustrated, disappointed, and resigned to know some of the things I deal with on a daily basis will continue to frustrate and disappoint me. I'm frustrated that I haven't been able to write. I'm uninspired. I'm blocked. I'm floundering. I had plans for this weekend that had to be postponed. Unfortunately for me, I really needed those plans to come to fruition. And there are multiple other things that have brought me nothing but disappointment and heartache. I'm unhappy. Oh, we make our own happiness, right? Yeah, well, the people that we choose to have in our lives are supposed to contribute to that happiness in some manner. When that doesn't happen, it's hard t...

Good afternoon, my Lovelies.  I hadn't intended to write a blog today, but what started out as a beautiful day for me has quickly deteriorated. And yes, I know I've used this blog title before, but on the days when the memories hit hard, this song comforts me. I'm sure you're all asking what changed and dimmed the brightness of my day. Well, I found out a couple of hours ago that a friend and former classmate of mine passed away this morning. And though I've not spoken to him in years, it breaks my heart, all the same. You see, his sister was one of my best friends growing up.  She was actually one of my attendants at the wedding of my first marriage. Bless her heart! She was so cute waddling down the aisle at seven-ish (I think) months pregnant. But, I digress. Her brother was possibly one of the kindest people I've ever known - in fact, their whole family just has an aura of kindness around them. I'll never forget the gentle teasing he always gave us, nor ...

Good afternoon, my Lovelies! It is a cold but beautiful Wednesday here on the peninsula and I'm doing something that I do not do very often; I'm taking a day for myself. That's right. I took the day off work and am spending the day being a bit lazy. I've napped, I've read, and I'm seriously considering another nap. (Just kidding, but it's nice to know it's an option.) Anyway, I hope all is well in your corner of the world and that life is treating you well. This morning I made an Instagram post and I talked about my love/hate relationship with Valentine's Day. First, let me tell you that I truly have no problem with the day or the sentiment behind it. No, my problem with it comes from a personal situation. When my husband and I first got together he was very aware of little things like Valentine's Day - cards, small gifts, dinner out, etc. He never went overboard, but there was always something. It was the same for our personal anniversaries - th...

Good afternoon, my Lovelies! I hope the sun is shining in your part of the world and that you are having a beautiful day! It is cold, rainy, and dreary here today and I'm feeling it. I want nothing more than to snuggle under the covers and hide until the sun appears, but no...I have to work. The good news is that I'm working from home today so at least I can be a bum and nobody is going to comment on it. Well, unless one of the cats decides to give me side-eye. We'll see. How has my week been? I'm not sure I know where to begin. I suppose I should tell you that I'm still dealing with a major depressive episode. I know part of this is simply due to exhaustion. I cannot find the energy to do anything. Or, maybe my exhaustion is a direct symptom of my depression? Either way, it is a malicious fucking circle that I can't seem to break. I constantly ask myself if I'm trying to do too much. My answer is always the same. Yes. Yes, I'm trying to do too much but ...

Good evening, my Lovelies! Happy Friday and happy weekend! I hope that you've all had an amazing week and that you found something or had an experience that made you smile. I certainly have and though I wish I could share some of those things with you, I simply can't. Not yet. One of these days... maybe. So, my question to you today is, throughout your life did you ever meet someone and know that if you let yourself fall for them that they would break your heart? Did you let yourself fall anyway or did you protect yourself and walk away? I mean, I had guys that I fell for who broke my heart, but I don't know that I ever made myself step back and not fall for someone because of the knowledge that the pain was inevitable. I never had someone enter my life that had heartbreaker written all over them. I never had to purposefully avoid someone to keep my heart intact. Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm asking this. Obviously, I'm doing some story research, bu...

Good morning, my Lovelies! Happy Saturday! I hope you are having an amazing weekend, whatever your plans may be. I have a full day of writing planned, but I desperately needed to get some thoughts out of my head so that I can concentrate. Hopefully. And lucky you, you guys are the recipients of my angst, my depression, and the disappointment that I've felt this week! Let me explain if I can. I know, and you know, that unless you've been blessed by the gods, have fallen into a pot of gold, or are just one of those people that fate smiles upon, things take time. I am NOT one of those people. (Never have been. Never will be.) It takes time to build a platform. It takes time to get your name out there. It takes time to see success in your endeavors. I try my hardest to be patient, but I'm so frustrated right now. I can't seem to get my books into the hands of the "right" people. And by that I mean, people who have a massive following who can be influential in gett...

Good evening, my Lovelies! It has been a full month since I've blogged and I hardly know where to begin. I mean, first things first, I sincerely hope that you all are doing well and that you had wonderful holiday celebrations. My holiday was good but stressful. I certainly don't feel that I found any time to relax and unwind while I was off and I find that very frustrating. I traveled. And while it's always great to see family, this trip finds me returning home completely exhausted. Truthfully, there was no part of this holiday that felt like Christmas to me. The constant worry over my parents and their health combined with being needed for one thing or another every five minutes just absolutely wore me out. I mean, I didn't even go for a drive to see Christmas lights and that is one of my favorite things to do during the holidays. I honestly feel like I need another week off to recover. And here is one more thing that I'm going to be 100% honest about: I have not w...