Music Tells My Stories

Good evening, my Lovelies! How the hell are ya doing? I am still drained but feel I'm slowly coming back to myself. I know that once I finally return home it will help me immensely. I'll get there. I just have to get through some things here in Kentucky first. While my life is still obviously in a whirlwind, I hope you are finding yourself with smooth sailing. Other than the obvious, what have I been up to? Let's see... I've been out on a couple of "dates." (Even the hubs calls them dates. Chill.) I got a new tattoo and now have tats on both ass cheeks. I also did something I've been thinking about doing for quite some time now. I fully stepped outside my comfort zone and got my nipples pierced. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, that I've lost my mind. Maybe. But I will tell you this, getting that done gave me a sense of empowerment that I've not felt in a long damn time. It was the boost I needed at the time I needed it. Did it hurt? Absolutely. Will...

Good afternoon, my Lovelies! I know. I know! It has been almost a full month since I've blogged. It was seriously not my intention to go that long without clearing my head and hopefully entertaining you all with some funny and/or crazy things. Alas, here we are. I hope you all have been doing well and that your little corner of the world has been a bright and happy place! If you've been with me for a while you know I've been having the hardest six months of my life. My father passed away in November and I moved in with my mother to care for her as she battled cancer. I left my husband and children back east and tried my hardest to manage two households that were 900 miles apart. On top of the physical needs she had, there was cooking, cleaning, chauffering, scheduling, mediating (the hubs and the youngest), financial managing, and all manner of other things. I've also continued to try to write which unfortunately has been spotty, at best. It has not been easy. Not by an...

Good morning, my Lovelies! It is Sunday morning and I'm in a hell of a mood. I hate this. I hate feeling pissed off at myself and everyone else, but that is where I'm at. I sat here this morning and debated even writing this, but I had to get it out of my head. On top of feeling pissed at everyone and everything, I'm feeling wholly inadequate.  I'm sure we all go through times of feeling that way. But today it is hitting me like a damn bomb going off in my head and heart. I, quite simply, will never be enough. (And I'm not fishing here. I know I will receive multiple messages from people telling me that I most definitely am enough. Just...don't.) Here are the intrusive thoughts that have been floating in my head this morning, in no particular order: I will never be smart enough.  I will never be pretty enough. I will never be thin enough. I will never be talented enough. I will never be successful enough. The only consolation I've come up with is that I will...

Greetings, my Lovelies! Yes, I know it has been a while. Life has been kicking me in the balls lately and I'll be honest, I just haven't had it in me to tap into my thoughts and emotions. Let me take just a minute to check in with you. Are you doing alright? Are you getting enough sleep? Have you been drinking your water?  Yeah, that's what I thought. Hang in there. We're all in this together. There's been so much since I last blogged that I truly have no idea where to begin. If you're following me on my other social media outlets, you know I'm still in Kentucky taking care of my mother. I've done some extremely difficult things in my life, but this? Well, this may very well be the most difficult thing I've ever done. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss home.  I can't seem to think clearly anymore. Wait, let me try that again. You see, I don't know if my ADHD brain has ever allowed me to think clearly. Let's go with...I can't ...

Good morning, my Lovelies! It's Sunday morning. It's game day. (Go Ravens!) I'm currently freezing my ass off and gulping coffee like it's a lifeline. I've had a rough couple of days and just felt the need to vent. I hope you are well and that your little dot on this world map is a bright, beautiful place this morning! Nightmare. Yes, I've used this song before - somewhat recently in fact. I felt it was fitting after the night terror I had last night. Yep. Night terror. I don't have them often, but when I do, it's bad. In fact, it is so much worse than just a simple nightmare. In my dreams, I can feel it coming. I can physically feel my body begin to draw in on itself. I can feel the trembling as it starts in my core and radiates out through the rest of me. I can feel the screams as they build. And I'm helpless to stop any of it. Why? Because along with my night terrors, I also get the joy of sleep paralysis. I can't move. Not at all. It is such ...

Good morning, my Lovelies! I hope this blog finds you doing well and that things are groovy in your part of the world. How's things in my world? My epic game of Frogger continues. I guess my getting food poisoning over the weekend was the equivalent of my froggy self getting splatted on the speed lanes. Good times. I actually started writing this blog a couple of nights ago and about halfway through it dawned on me that everything I was saying sounded horribly familiar. I had to go back and check myself. It turns out that I had already talked about that particular topic so I kind of started over again. I mean, I assume you guys don't need more details on the night my ex-husband stabbed me. We'll move along. Instead, let's talk about... Desire. Has there ever been someone that you craved beyond all logical reason? You just can't get enough of them. You think about them all day, dream about them at night, and they're the first thought on your mind when you wake in...

Good evening, my Lovelies! I wasn't going to blog again so soon, but I'm not having the best of days emotionally. I may publish this. I may not. We'll see. I don't know why it hit me so hard today but I'm seriously feeling the depression right now. The weird thing is that it didn't really hit until this afternoon. I've now spent most of the afternoon and this evening holding back tears that are threatening to fall. Depression is such a bitch. I mean, I had a great start to my day, and I got to have lunch with a long-time friend. We, as always, had an excellent conversation and just enjoyed each other's company. (And alcoholic beverages, which, goes without saying as being a good thing.) When we parted ways things were good. I wish I knew what flipped my switch. I wish I knew what it was that caused the world to come crashing down on me, but I'm clueless. Now I'm sitting here typing all this out, drinking some Smirnoff and trying to keep myself fr...

Good evening, my Lovelies! Gracious! I hardly know where to begin. This is my first blog of the new year and I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to acknowledge everyone who started reading and following my blog over the past year. I've gained some amazing followers and new friends and I'm thankful to each and every one of you. The past year brought many changes and challenges. It also brought some heartbreak, but at the same time, it brought many heart smiles. I had many blessings and I'm grateful for them all. So what is it that I want to talk to you about tonight? I think I've touched on this before, but if you don't already know, I'm a very insecure person. I've had friends, family, and people that I love, to just walk away without looking back. I've always wondered what I did that made them leave or what I didn't do to make them want to stay. I've tried repeatedly to tell myself that their leaving falls on them and not me, but I...

Good morning, my Lovelies! It is time once again for me to get a few thoughts out of my head (maybe more than a few) and I just know that each and every one of you is itching to hear what has been floating around up there. Well, maybe not, but y'all love me and will humor me anyway. I don't know if this blog will touch you in any way, will make you feel anything, but I know it will me. As most of you know, my father passed away a couple of weeks ago. Neither of my parents has been in particularly good health for quite some time now. And while nobody is ever prepared to lose a loved one, not really, I feel like I had thought about the inevitability enough that I'm handling it better than I thought I would. Oh, I still have my moments. Believe me when I say I miss my father, but he was in pain and had been in pain for a long time. Maybe it just eases my mind that he is no longer suffering? Maybe it eases my mind that I never had to put him in a nursing facility, which is one ...

Good evening, my Lovelies! Please forgive me. It has now been more than a month since I've released a new blog. If you follow me on social media then you know there have been some things happening in my family that have pulled me away from my home and my writing. But, I'm back. Or I'm sort of back. I'm working on it, okay? How have things been in your part of the world? I hope they have been fantastic and that life is treating you well! With all the chaos in my life lately, I find I'm ready to just let my hair down and have some fun. My birthday is this week and I had so many thoughts and ideas on how I wanted to celebrate this year that have now been thrown out the window. This is one of the big birthdays and I really wanted to get all my friends together and have a huge party. At one time, I had even considered trying to get all my loves together for a cruise to somewhere tropical. I'm still holding this idea in reserve for the future. I won't get to do an...