Posts

All Cried Out

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Good afternoon, my Lovelies! I hope this blog finds you well and that you are living your best life. I also hope it finds you loved, and appreciated, and that the people in your life showered you with gifts yesterday to show you just how much you are loved and appreciated. Well, it happened. The depression has hit just as I knew it would, just as I told you in my last blog. Valentines Day was forgotten for me by the ones who say they love me, the ones I've given my heart to. I know I shouldn't let it get to me this way, but it does. And it sucks. It sucks to not feel the love that I'm told is there. I'm tired of crying. I've cried buckets for the better part of two weeks (not all prompted by the subject of this blog). Every time I think I have no tears left, more come pouring out of me. I'm tired of not feeling important. It would be lovely if words were backed up by actions. It would be lovely if when someone tells me they love me, they actually meant it instea...

Valentine

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Good afternoon, my Lovelies! It is my greatest hope that this blog finds you healthy and happy. Me? I'm working on it. If you've been with me for a while you know that a few years ago I started going on a writer's retreat. I always scheduled it for sometime around Valentine's Day and there's a very good reason for that. For many people in committed relationships - married, dating, or whatever label you put on it - when Valentine's comes along, there are plans made. Some go to dinner, some give gifts, and some plan romantic evenings. Some people put a ton of effort into it - some minimal - but whatever level of effort, there is love shown. Somehow, those things have never happened for me. Ever. No matter who I've been with. I used to try to brush it off as no big deal, but over the past 10 years or so I've come to realize it IS a big deal - at least to me. I've never been taken to dinner on V-Day. I've never been given a gift other than an occasio...

Broken

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Good afternoon, my Lovelies! I wasn't going to blog today but I need to get some things out of my head. I've been in tears for the past two days and I can't seem to stop them from coming. I have a girls' night planned with friends for tomorrow and I should probably just wait and talk to them, but I can't think about anything else right now, so maybe if I write it down I can salvage something of this day. First, how y'all doin'? Is it cold where you are? Are you taking care of yourself? Drinking your water? Alright, here we go. With very, very few exceptions, my entire love/sex life has been made up of men: 1. Declaring their love for me just to keep me around as a backup. 2. Expecting me to always be waiting. 3. Telling me I'm beautiful simply to see if I'll fuck them. 4. Telling me they want me and want to be with me, then disappearing. They shove my entire existence into the back of a closet where they run across me five years later and pull me out...

Dirty Mind

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Good afternoon, my Lovelies! I am deep into writing the third book in my Mountain Mayhem series but I needed to come up for air. I keep hitting crossroads with this story and am questioning whether I've taken the correct path or not. I would love to dive into another story for a bit to see if I can let this one rest and unfold for me, but I'm afraid if I do I'll not meet my deadline. (BTW, the next time any of you hear me talking about putting a book up for preorder that I've not written yet, grab me and shake some sense into me. Okay?) Being able to bounce back and forth between stories usually helps me, but I could totally see myself getting sucked in and pushing this story to the side. So, anyway... How y'all doin'? Y'all good? Enjoying your new year so far? Getting some fresh air? Drinking your water? Taking care of your mental health? It's that last one that has been getting me lately, but I really don't want to talk about that today. Nope! Toda...

Home

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Good Wednesday morning, my Lovelies! Am I overwhelming you with blogs lately? I hope not. I hope the things I write about are entertaining, touching, or make you think about your own life and realize you aren't alone in your struggles, triumphs, and joys. We all need those connections, even if it comes from a stranger. I hope you're all doing well and are having a wonderful holiday season. Obviously, this year hits a bit different for me. In the past year and a half my father, mother, and aunt have all passed away. I also recently had the first man to EVER make me feel beautiful, sexy, and wanted - the man who rescued me from a really bad marriage, to suddenly die. So, yeah, this one is a bit rough for me. I know I have friends and family I can lean on, but it's still taking a toll on me. This is the first year since I moved from Kentucky that I've had nowhere else to go for the holidays. We used to trade off holidays, ya know? One year we would visit at Thanksgiving an...

Wish You the Best

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Good afternoon, my Lovelies. I know, I know! Two blogs within one week? Crazy, right? I wish this was a happy, upbeat, encouraging one, but I'm definitely not in that frame of mind right now. Hell, I might not even publish this one. We'll see how I'm feeling after I purge all these thoughts. I'm hurt. I'm defeated. I'm so damn tired of dealing with the same old shit. Where to begin... Let's start with people's words not matching their actions. I'm having a real issue with people telling me they'll always be there for me and then when I reach out, they're not. Don't tell me you love me and want me in your life only to take days or weeks to get back to me when I call or text. That's not very "I'll always love you" of you. Going through your own shit? I get that. I'm here for you. As long as I'm on this earth, I'll be here for you. But if you won't even respond to me, how am I supposed to know you're suf...

Medicate

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Good afternoon, my Lovelies! 'Tis four days before the release of Jaxon's Fate and five days before my birthday and all through the land things are not well.  Okay. I was going to get all cutesy and set that opening up like a play on The Night Before Christmas, but my creativity levels are just NOT there today. (Which is probably why I'm blogging instead of working on a book.) Okay...before I dive in here too far... How y'all doin'? Ya good? I truly do hope you are well and enjoying the holiday season - whatever that looks like for you. This time of year can be so hard for a multitude of reasons. Please promise me if you're having a hard time right now, that you'll reach out. Call a friend, a family member, a hotline... Hell...you can even message me. I don't give advice unless asked for, but I will always, and I do mean that wholeheartedly, ALWAYS listen. So, what's going on with me?  Sleep deprivation. I've had trouble sleeping off and on for y...

The Dance

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Good morning, my Lovelies! It has been a while since I've blogged and truthfully, I don't know if I would be blogging right now if I didn't need to get some things out of my head. Life has been a real struggle for me lately. I hope you all have been doing well. I know that is a stretch for many of you in the USA right now, but that is a whole-ass topic that I won't even begin to discuss at the moment. Y'all. I'm sad. I'm devastated. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces. One of my friends passed away this past weekend. It was very sudden and at this point, I don't know the cause. He was young and healthy. He took very good care of himself - always at the gym and running those Tough Mudder races, etc. So, my mind simply cannot process how this has happened. I wrote our story a while back and I'm so glad I did. It is one of the true stories I wrote into my newsletter-exclusive book, Truth, Lies & Fantasies. (If you would like to read it...

The Sound of Silence

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Good morning, my Lovelies! I kind of feel as if I should do the Catholic thing and say, "Forgive me, followers, I have sinned." It has certainly been a long time since I've laid my confessions/stories/thoughts/idiocy at your feet. Yet, here I am, asking you to pretend as if I never abandoned you. Do you still love me? I certainly hope so. My attention-whore self couldn't stand it if you didn't! Alright, let's dive right in. Since I talked with you last, I have attended two signing events - one in Biloxi, Mississippi, and the other in New Orleans, Louisiana. In my age-old wisdom I decided driving from my home to these events would be the best option as I needed to carry a LOT of stuff with me. Did I have great events? Yes! I got to visit with author friends and make new ones. I spoke with readers, new and old, and met so many amazing people! The authors, readers, influencers... simply the best! While I was gone I also got to spend a little time with friends and...

A Million Dreams

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Good morning, my Lovelies! Happy Saturday! Y'all good? I certainly hope so. I know it has been a while since I've blogged and I apologize. Will you ever forgive me for leaving you temporarily? I'll be honest. I hadn't planned on blogging this morning, but I came outside to sit on my front porch in peace and quiet to write and research for my current work in progress and after only a half hour, found myself annoyed beyond comprehension. Let me set the scene. I have a 50-acre farm. However, my house sits very close to the road I live on. While I have no neighbors on either side of me (thank GOD!) I do have neighbors who live across the road. The ones who live across and to the left of me are older and while they are in their yard fairly often, are quiet and mind their own business. The neighbors across and to the right of me are an entirely different story. (And then my in-laws live next door to them! Ugh!) These neighbors somehow have three generations living in a garage...